She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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