just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
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Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm always down for nudity.
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