Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
