The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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