I'm sorry my penis didn't work
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
