She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
