ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
