Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize