I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
