Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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