I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Randomize