So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
