bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
