i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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