do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
