I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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