i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Alive.
So much puke
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
