We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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