btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
