I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
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