covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
