JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
