Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize