i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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