there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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