i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize