I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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