I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
