quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
