so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
