A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
