Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
COCAINE IS GR8
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize