That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
