I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
