And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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