Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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