dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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