she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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