She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
