LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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