Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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