i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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