Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
