I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize