You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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