why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
