Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
