Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
