That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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