erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
