i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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