He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
