I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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