Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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