Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
