tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
